I love that saying, “Walking against the wind,” because it so righteously depicts that feeling that the whole world is out to get me. I know you’ve felt it too. I drop my keys, I hit my head against the car door when I reach to pick them up, I spill coffee on my WHITE shirt when I shamble into the car seat, I scrape the side of my car as I back out. It can go on and on. Or at least I used to think it did. I used to rant, I used to rave, I didn’t get it. I still don’t fully.
I don’t get it but I do/think about things differently today. I drop stuff and then I pick it up. I bump and collide and keep going without hardly thinking about it. I find myself walking against the wind ANYWAYS. I walk stronger. When there’s no wind I sail. Before it stopped me. Sometimes it still does. But now I keep. on. going. Fuck the wind.
I was thinking on it as I walked down a hiking trail, my son strapped to my chest. Smooth sailing one direction, the road got muddy in front of us so I turned and, ouch. The wind cut deep. I was thinking about my future on this walk. My son fell asleep. I was thinking about leaving my job and doing yoga teacher training. I thought about it. I talked about it. I had the resources to do it. But would I?
A bombardment of worries filled me. How would we eat? That was a big one, a constant, never ending ghoul hanging onto my shoulders. I had been poor before and very recently, but never with another soul I had to take care of. I promised myself he would never have to feel the way I had felt, how did teaching yoga waylay those fears?
I kept walking. He slept. I prayed. I didn’t want to go to a job I didn’t like anymore. I wanted my son to watch his mom be happy in the career path she chose. Was that even possible? I still don’t know. Today my boss asked me if I could work only four days a week, which strangely will help me save money because I won’t have to pay for day care. The promise of that one day off gave me wings. What more is to come here?
A good friend (a great friend) told me to do the next indicated step on this yoga thing. I will show up to my job, I will do the next indicated step, and I will continue walking against the wind.
Published by Liz Brower
I've practiced yoga since 2006, I stumbled into a class at my local gym. I didn't really "get" yoga, I wanted to do all of the poses to the max, I didn't focus on breathing, and I was very competitive. A year later I quit smoking and my mom purchased a three month unlimited to a local studio. I fell in love with yoga! Plus the metaphor was strong, my lungs began to repair, I could take really deep inhales without coughing! I later began to go to a free outdoor yoga classes in downtown Long Beach, CA that was also affiliated with a donation based studio. Yoga was fun, affordable, accessible, and outside! I loved it. I started practicing at home by myself. I started meditating.
Right after I found the classes at the gym stopped drinking alchohol. My sobriety and yoga have intertwined ever since. They compliment each other amazingly and I am so grateful for them both.
I stopped practicing yoga after getting pregnant and being caught up with the taking care of a newborn in 2013/2014. When he was 9 months old I realized that I really wanted to redirect myself back to yoga. I also had the seed planted in my mind while driving home from Christmas break, why don't you go do a yoga teacher training?! I started practicing yoga at a local studio and began scouring the internet for a teacher training program. I found Three Sisters Yoga, a lovely program, based out of NY & PDX. I was more than motivated to teach, I started teaching some free yoga in the summer of 2015 at a local park. I continued after that with an internship at the same studio I had signed back up with at the beginning of the year. I quit my day job. I hit the pavement, scouring for yoga gigs that would hire a newbie. I found a job and began to teach!
Now I am navigating the great balance of being a single mom, a yoga teacher, and doing my best to trust my higher power with my future. I love to teach and practice vinyasa, but also know what it's like to be drawn to slower types of yoga due to injury or body type. I feel a special affinity for yoga new comers and like to teach practice at all different levels. Thank you for taking time to read a little more about me and I wish all of you the best in your own individual yoga practice.
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