BEING STILL

Don’t let the title of this post fool you.  I’ve been very physically un-still lately.

My step-dad, H, and I went to the OR Zoo last week.  H is getting to a new place, the stroller and ergo have become somewhat of a prison to him after a while, he wants to R U N   A R O U N D like a madman.  Everything must be explored!  Little dude is already getting quick, my new hyper-vigilance-mom-action is to watch him like a mama-hawk.  He is so teeny still too, many of the paths at the zoo were uneven and framed by rocky mini-walls and planters.  I do not want him to take a spill!  My future weakness concerning him may be protectiveness, I know, but for now it fits the scene.

The zoo was fun, OR really knows how to do it’s parks, playgrounds, libraries and zoos right:

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After my days off, plunging back into yoga teacher training.  I really am pleased with this training and how it’s flowing in my life.  I picked it for it’s accelerated program and it seemed to focus on the meditative side of yoga.  It’s that and way more.  I’ve basically had to correct about 80% of my own posture and alignment.  I’ve learned so much about yoga’s roots.  I’ve been amazed by the fact that my co-students and I have already been put through the paces of teaching each other sequences.  I’m learning about teaching yoga to all kinds of shapes and stages.  H is teething like crazy right now, I wake up every other hour with him, but I am still energized within the day (the middle of the night is another story..).

And then my friend J visited.  It was such a low maintenance visit, I love this girl so much.  She was just happy to be there and with H.  He was stand-offish with her just on the first day and then he warmed up and would reach out to her.  We hiked and visited PDX a couple of times.  We sat around and ate healthy food.  We just were.  I found myself many times during her visit, just soaking up the present.  That’s hard for me to do.  I am always either in the past: replaying, or in the future: planning.  We drove around so many times around Long Beach, on our way to a meeting, talking about whatever we were going through in our lives.  It was surreal after a year to be driving around in the same car, talking about what was going on in our lives.  Your car still smells like cat food! 

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Giant hair follicle?  It moved too!
Giant hair follicle? It moved too!
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Pixie Retreat in PDX.

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We’ve been doing a ton of meditation in yoga teacher training too.  I am resistant to it, more than I thought I would be.  Last Sunday we meditated for a half hour after we arrived.  We did three ten minute sessions at the end of the day (8am~6pm are our hours on the weekend).  That’s like an hour!  Meditating is definitely a practice.

I know it’s why I’ve felt so still in the midst of so much action, though.  The whole yoga teacher training experience is making me more mellow, in the moment, and grateful.  It’s settling my soul.  I had a short conversation with the HP after one of H’s wake ups in the middle of the night.  A voice asked me, would you want to do the yoga/writing gig full time if you could?  Yes, I answered.  I felt a deep peace.  Dreams and wishes.

Her visit was a good ending to my seven year mark.  She got to go with me to my women’s meeting, also very surreal.  I said during my share, I am so grateful to be sitting here in this seat seven years later.  I felt it.  My friend heard during her visit about a overdose back in LB.  I definitely want to stay afraid of alcoholism and I mourn for that individual’s friends and family.

Back into teacher training today.  The ride does not stop.  I am grateful for the stillness.

Published by Liz Brower

I've practiced yoga since 2006, I stumbled into a class at my local gym. I didn't really "get" yoga, I wanted to do all of the poses to the max, I didn't focus on breathing, and I was very competitive. A year later I quit smoking and my mom purchased a three month unlimited to a local studio. I fell in love with yoga! Plus the metaphor was strong, my lungs began to repair, I could take really deep inhales without coughing! I later began to go to a free outdoor yoga classes in downtown Long Beach, CA that was also affiliated with a donation based studio. Yoga was fun, affordable, accessible, and outside! I loved it. I started practicing at home by myself. I started meditating. Right after I found the classes at the gym stopped drinking alchohol. My sobriety and yoga have intertwined ever since. They compliment each other amazingly and I am so grateful for them both. I stopped practicing yoga after getting pregnant and being caught up with the taking care of a newborn in 2013/2014. When he was 9 months old I realized that I really wanted to redirect myself back to yoga. I also had the seed planted in my mind while driving home from Christmas break, why don't you go do a yoga teacher training?! I started practicing yoga at a local studio and began scouring the internet for a teacher training program. I found Three Sisters Yoga, a lovely program, based out of NY & PDX. I was more than motivated to teach, I started teaching some free yoga in the summer of 2015 at a local park. I continued after that with an internship at the same studio I had signed back up with at the beginning of the year. I quit my day job. I hit the pavement, scouring for yoga gigs that would hire a newbie. I found a job and began to teach! Now I am navigating the great balance of being a single mom, a yoga teacher, and doing my best to trust my higher power with my future. I love to teach and practice vinyasa, but also know what it's like to be drawn to slower types of yoga due to injury or body type. I feel a special affinity for yoga new comers and like to teach practice at all different levels. Thank you for taking time to read a little more about me and I wish all of you the best in your own individual yoga practice. ~Namaste!

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