H and I went to the fair last week.  I have such great childhood memories of the fair, being terrified in a good way on the zipper, going upside down on the gravitron (this may or may not be true, it’s a bit hazy.), the food, and the feeling I got walking around at night with all of the bright flashing lights.  More and more it’s imperative that H and I get OUT of the house at some point during the day.  Sometimes that means a walk around the corner and sometimes that means getting in the car and going on an adventure.

As a former vegan and current pescatarian, fairs to me now are not as filled with childhood wonder and innocence.  As we were walking around the animals stalls I couldn’t help but hear that old slogan, meet your meat.  Seriously that sentence would not stop playing in my mind.  It is jarring for me that families will roll by the pig section, coo at the pigs and try to pet them and then the next stop?  Corn dogs, yum.  Now, before any meat eaters get on their high horses, I am still trying to be a better recycler and have not used cloth diapers, I don’t feel like I have the right to bitch, I guess is what I’m say.  Plus I ate meat while pregnant, (gasp!).  But does it disturb me?  Honestly, yes.

H was obsessed with the tractors in the kiddie section.  Couldn’t get him out of there without a back arch throwin fit:

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Steering wheels is a current thing.  He’s such a funny kid when it comes to stuff like that.  He knows what he wants and is single minded.  I pulled him into this booth filled with tiny corn kernels.  Kids were filling things up with them.  He’s been past the whole putting everything in the mouth stage, but pop, in went a kernel.  I was worried so I tried to fish it out and he clamped down on my finger for a full minute.  It reminded me of when I’ve heard about dogs biting, H’s hold kept getting tighter and tighter.  Owie.  He finally let go and we moved on.  No more corn kernels for you, buddy.

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In my last post I mentioned feeling a new ease to toddler hood.  This is still the case, but there is something new.  Feelings.  I joke with my parents that H is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  All snuggles and giggles one second, and all angry and screaming the next.  He is negotiating feelings and they are all new to him.  I pray to be a good mama to him while he does.

I may be getting to spend much more time with him.  My work wanted me to work Tuesday through Thursday, or go basically.  I decided to go.  I gave notice, my last day is two weeks from last Friday.  It would make no sense financially to work only three days and do daycare, I would not be making enough.  I’m not wanting him in day care either.

So that’s that.  I may start the yoga apprenticeship in September so this may be perfect timing.  I feel the stress of money on my shoulders.  I feel the whole stigma of being this old and living with my parents as well.  I feel a huge peace too and that feels bigger.  For now I’m going with that.  It will be nice to not have to work through fall too.  Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas!  My favorite time of year!  It’s been SO HOT here, and smoky.  There are so many wild fires.  We need tons of rain.  It’s supposed to rain before and during free yoga and I don’t even care.  We need it.

It will be interesting to see what’s next.

Wishing you all an abundance of rain, whether it be physical or spiritual.

Love, peace, & namaste.

Published by Liz Brower

I've practiced yoga since 2006, I stumbled into a class at my local gym. I didn't really "get" yoga, I wanted to do all of the poses to the max, I didn't focus on breathing, and I was very competitive. A year later I quit smoking and my mom purchased a three month unlimited to a local studio. I fell in love with yoga! Plus the metaphor was strong, my lungs began to repair, I could take really deep inhales without coughing! I later began to go to a free outdoor yoga classes in downtown Long Beach, CA that was also affiliated with a donation based studio. Yoga was fun, affordable, accessible, and outside! I loved it. I started practicing at home by myself. I started meditating. Right after I found the classes at the gym stopped drinking alchohol. My sobriety and yoga have intertwined ever since. They compliment each other amazingly and I am so grateful for them both. I stopped practicing yoga after getting pregnant and being caught up with the taking care of a newborn in 2013/2014. When he was 9 months old I realized that I really wanted to redirect myself back to yoga. I also had the seed planted in my mind while driving home from Christmas break, why don't you go do a yoga teacher training?! I started practicing yoga at a local studio and began scouring the internet for a teacher training program. I found Three Sisters Yoga, a lovely program, based out of NY & PDX. I was more than motivated to teach, I started teaching some free yoga in the summer of 2015 at a local park. I continued after that with an internship at the same studio I had signed back up with at the beginning of the year. I quit my day job. I hit the pavement, scouring for yoga gigs that would hire a newbie. I found a job and began to teach! Now I am navigating the great balance of being a single mom, a yoga teacher, and doing my best to trust my higher power with my future. I love to teach and practice vinyasa, but also know what it's like to be drawn to slower types of yoga due to injury or body type. I feel a special affinity for yoga new comers and like to teach practice at all different levels. Thank you for taking time to read a little more about me and I wish all of you the best in your own individual yoga practice. ~Namaste!

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