So I haven’t really been hustling. Hustling for me would be working until you fall into bed at 1am, only to wake up at 5am to start again. So it hasn’t been that. It’s been a flow-like hustle, if that makes any sense. Life flows. Wake up to, mama, mama, feed the little bear, change a poopy, nap (him not me), yoga, write, crochet (making crocheted presents for Christmas this year), look for yoga gigs, follow up on yoga gigs, walk with little bear, feed him again, change another poopy, go to my yoga apprenticeship, read in bed while drinking tea, and goodnight. Taking care of H during the day seems like such a lazy thing but when I really stop to think about it, it’s not. It’s a bunch of tiny little tasks that make up mama hood, it really is.
The apprenticeship has been going beyond well. Every time I’m there I think, is this really my life? I was also invited to the staff’s holiday party which made me feel giddy. I’m going to a party with actual yoga teachers, I have been telling people in amazement. My thrall annoys even me, don’t worry I am aware of how dorky I am. Why not enjoy it while it lasts though? I’ve learned a lot there. Especially interesting how a couple of my mentors use imagery and stories during class. Also I’ve been going to my main mentor’s back to back classes, the first is all level Vinyasa and the second is Basic Hatha. She teaches with the same lesson for both, just modifies per the class. I got to check out her lesson plan book and read whichever classes I wanted to. I went out and bought mine and started writing in my classes.
AND, pending that I get my CPR certificate next week I will be teaching a demo class (a whole class in a studio!) on 10/29. It will be open to the community, it’s a free class so I hope some regulars will be there. I’ve really valued what my main mentor has taught me about being prepared for class: go early and practice. In my case, I can practice at home. It really makes a difference. I had an audition last week, they are interested in hiring someone who can teach Power Vinyasa. I practiced and practiced and I felt really confident. Who cares if I said, fix your gaze upon your Drishti, that piece of dirt on the ground that’s not moving. Uh. Waiting to hear back from them in the hopes they saw beyond me mentioning how there was dirt on their studio floor, lol. Just for the record the floor was not dirty, I have no idea why I said that.
H’s other grandma came for a visit. It was good to have her here, she is IN LOVE with that boy and wanted to babysit a ton for me. I got to go meet with a sponsee, do a bunch of yoga, and even went to see a movie with AA peeps. I’m very grateful that she really wants to be a part of his life, she flies out here a lot to see him. H loves spending time with her. She takes him on three hour walks and lets him walk, climb, or crawl almost anywhere he wants. Toddler paradise.
It’s been colder here which has been nice. It rained this past weekend and at one point there was a huge windy downpour, all of the rain blowing sideways. I had a sideways moment myself pretty soon after that. Man, my head is so LOUD sometimes. Loud and believable. I got called on to share when I was right in the middle of it and all I could really say was how low my self esteem was and that even though I felt so bad I have been there before and know that it will pass. Sometimes I don’t have the wise shares. I’d rather be honest and get some relief. Some friends invite me out for desert after and I went. Never underestimate the power of simple human interaction. It felt good to just sit, eat sugar, and laugh. The feelings and loud head has since passed like it always does. This is why I love AA so much. It taught me to just sit tight. A drink will solve a loud head temporarily only. I really strive toward being comfortable in my on skin.
And speaking of sugar, our household is on a no sugar challenge until Halloween. We get stickers for every day that we don’t eat sugar. I asked my step-dad what the reward is for getting straight stickers and he said, you get to eat sugar on Halloween. Ha. It will be interesting to see if I last and if I can bounce back on if I sugar relapse.
Halloween approaches. I am very excited for it but am trying to live in the moment. H is going to be a bear, same as last year. For some reason I bought two bear costumes in different sizes when he was just three months old. There is a gathering in our neighborhood and then I am so very interested to see how he acts during trick or treating! I’m so excited! It’s hard to live in the moment all of the time, ack. And AA is having a speaker, potluck, and dance later that night. Fun, fun, fun.
I hope all of you are enjoying Fall so far. I wish the best for you as the holidays approach.
Love and light.