My master teacher in training used to say that the opposite of love is fear. I had presumed it before that to be hate, but I now agree that hate springs from fear.  My prayers for the upset and bloodshed in France and all over the whole world, those unknown hot pockets of darkness, is that those responsible for the violence (past and future) will have love instead of fear manifest.   There is a lot of noise about the issue all over T.V. and social media.  I’m choosing to ignore most of it and just pray.

We drove up to Mosier, OR last week to check out the digs my cousin rented for Christmas.  Minuscule town that packs a big view.


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After seeing the town we flitted through Hood River.  Since there wasn’t a chain grocery store in Mosier, we wanted to see what stores were in Hood River.  My cousin’s partner is a chef and she wanted me to report about fresh ingredients.  Then onto Troutdale to check out McMenamins Edgefield.  Whoa, have you been there?  It’s amazing.  A long, snake-like HOT soaking pool, restaurants, gardens, orchards, a little golf course, a movie theater, and a ton of quirk.  Everything is painted.  By everything, I mean just about everything. Electrical outlets, sides of barns no one really walks by.  Little mini murals everywhere. You have to just go there to understand I think.  The pictures are full of strange humor, reminds me to not take myself too seriously.  I didn’t like any pictures of the paintings except the balls on the railings and this door:

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I always feel like many forms of art and painted stuff has to be seen in person to feel the full amount of beauty.  H was only too grateful to get out of the car and run around.

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And back home to help papa out with the gravel:

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H is teething four teeth, is super snotty (teething or cold, we aren’t sure), and is very fussy/needy too.  I always have moments where I feel like a bad mom because then I feel fussy/needy, ha.  I have to remind myself about all of the good mom stuff I do when he is so fractious.  We spent some time before nap time balancing a hair tie on his big toe.  I am always amazed by what he thinks is funny.  Then I read a bunch of books to him before his nap.  It’s been nice too to have this little gig in Milwaukie to go teach at to take some time for myself.  And meetings.  When we were at the McMenamins I noticed the martinis.  I have never been one to say that the craving for alcohol has completely left me.  I don’t think about it every day at all, and huge chunks of time pass where I am not conscious of it.  But it’s still there and I always have to play the tape.  Playing the tape has always been a big save for me.  I will do a bunch of things I will regret.  Those little things are reminders to me of why it’s better for me and everyone that I don’t drink.

I’ve been living more in the moment lately too which have grown from some new discoveries.  At my last teaching session during the end meditation I had a flash of prayer, like my whole soul was asking my HP for help with my future and this yoga stuff.  I haven’t been doing that.  My funds are running low and I’ve been stressing out a lot.  A huge character defect of mine is trying to hash stuff out myself instead of relying on my HP.  I did some writing for a step study I’m in.  We’re on step 11 on prayer and meditation.  I wrote:  I am afraid that my HP can’t help me or won’t help me.  I’m afraid my HP won’t do anything.  That my HP is impotent and doesn’t care about me.

I was very surprised to see that.  These are old beliefs that I had thought I had gotten over.  So, it gave me some clarity.  It made me remember that I have a new HP.  It made me see that I may have to refine my vision of my HP more.  And I will pray.  I will focus on praying more.  Instead of always trying to steam roll my way through stuff.

Whew!  I’m so grateful for the steps, HP, the program, my family, my son!  I’m so grateful for all I have!  I don’t really need for anything.

I hope all of your needs (and some of your wants?) get met today as well.

Xo & namaste~

Published by Liz Brower

I've practiced yoga since 2006, I stumbled into a class at my local gym. I didn't really "get" yoga, I wanted to do all of the poses to the max, I didn't focus on breathing, and I was very competitive. A year later I quit smoking and my mom purchased a three month unlimited to a local studio. I fell in love with yoga! Plus the metaphor was strong, my lungs began to repair, I could take really deep inhales without coughing! I later began to go to a free outdoor yoga classes in downtown Long Beach, CA that was also affiliated with a donation based studio. Yoga was fun, affordable, accessible, and outside! I loved it. I started practicing at home by myself. I started meditating. Right after I found the classes at the gym stopped drinking alchohol. My sobriety and yoga have intertwined ever since. They compliment each other amazingly and I am so grateful for them both. I stopped practicing yoga after getting pregnant and being caught up with the taking care of a newborn in 2013/2014. When he was 9 months old I realized that I really wanted to redirect myself back to yoga. I also had the seed planted in my mind while driving home from Christmas break, why don't you go do a yoga teacher training?! I started practicing yoga at a local studio and began scouring the internet for a teacher training program. I found Three Sisters Yoga, a lovely program, based out of NY & PDX. I was more than motivated to teach, I started teaching some free yoga in the summer of 2015 at a local park. I continued after that with an internship at the same studio I had signed back up with at the beginning of the year. I quit my day job. I hit the pavement, scouring for yoga gigs that would hire a newbie. I found a job and began to teach! Now I am navigating the great balance of being a single mom, a yoga teacher, and doing my best to trust my higher power with my future. I love to teach and practice vinyasa, but also know what it's like to be drawn to slower types of yoga due to injury or body type. I feel a special affinity for yoga new comers and like to teach practice at all different levels. Thank you for taking time to read a little more about me and I wish all of you the best in your own individual yoga practice. ~Namaste!

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