A WINTER REPRIEVE

I guess everyone will have a reprieve of sorts after the next week or so as school goes on break and people begin to travel towards loved ones to celebrate Christmas.  If you’re familiar with me or this blog you know how much I love rain, Winter, Christmas, ect.  In the week before Christmas I’m trying to take it all in and enjoy it.  The lights in ‘downtown’ Wilsonville.  The Christmas songs.  The decorations around the house.  I’m also thinking about my intention/resolution for 2016.  Living in the moment, being grateful for the past, and visualizing goals for the future.  A tricky line to walk.

We went to the Nutcracker yesterday, my first live Nutcracker performance!  We ate lunch in downtown Portland before the show, what a treat to go into the big city and just relish the day.  Sans boys, it was me, my mom, my two step-sisters, and their two daughters.  I spent pretty much the whole day without H, always bittersweet.  A nice break but I always miss him.  It feels like I’m missing a limb.  He grows bigger and heavier.  Where did my little baby go?  I wonder.

The Keller Auditorium:

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And more meandering around at home below:

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Yoga is going well, I’m seeing the same faces almost every class.  I haven’t had any more classes where no one showed up.  I kept gearing myself up for it but it didn’t happen.  I can’t tell you how much I love seeing someone walk in with their mat!  It’s the best.  I’ve been finding my glide into the teaching groove as well.  I pick a theme for the week and just add and subtract new or old stuff each class.  For my night and morning turnaround classes, I come home, get H to bed and sleep in my yoga clothes, ha.

I had recently been feeling homesick for Long Beach AGAIN.  I wasn’t feeling the meetings here and felt like no one liked me, basic lies your head will tell you.  I struggled with it for a couple days and finally came to the conclusion via the Higher Power that I just wasn’t in acceptance about people places or things.  No place is perfect.  I can’t hold LB on this high pedestal because it wasn’t perfect there either.  I have to find my place in meetings and AA here continually because I have to look out for my sobriety.  It passed.  It may be the season.  My friends in Long Beach are my family too, just not by blood.  I was walking around at home in a tank and long john pants I always wear.  They were each separately passed down to me by a bff in LB.  I realized right then that I carry them with me, in that place of the heart that no one can see.  I carry them with me in the tangible and the spiritual.  Uh, I feel so strange feeling homesick right now about all this stuff.  But it is what it is, right?

What happened to Friday nights?  Someone asked me last night at the meeting.  I had in a attempt to reach out to women here, been inviting them to coffee before the Friday meeting, and hadn’t done so the last couple of weeks.  Another sweet girl texted me and I opened up to her.  She said she will be my friend and go to meetings with me.  I give an inch and my HP gives me back light years.  As per usual.

Christmas next week!  My family traveling up from SoCal & NorCal!  I hope the weather agrees with their travel.

Wishing everyone out there a very peaceful Christmas week eve.

Namaste~

Published by Liz Brower

I've practiced yoga since 2006, I stumbled into a class at my local gym. I didn't really "get" yoga, I wanted to do all of the poses to the max, I didn't focus on breathing, and I was very competitive. A year later I quit smoking and my mom purchased a three month unlimited to a local studio. I fell in love with yoga! Plus the metaphor was strong, my lungs began to repair, I could take really deep inhales without coughing! I later began to go to a free outdoor yoga classes in downtown Long Beach, CA that was also affiliated with a donation based studio. Yoga was fun, affordable, accessible, and outside! I loved it. I started practicing at home by myself. I started meditating. Right after I found the classes at the gym stopped drinking alchohol. My sobriety and yoga have intertwined ever since. They compliment each other amazingly and I am so grateful for them both. I stopped practicing yoga after getting pregnant and being caught up with the taking care of a newborn in 2013/2014. When he was 9 months old I realized that I really wanted to redirect myself back to yoga. I also had the seed planted in my mind while driving home from Christmas break, why don't you go do a yoga teacher training?! I started practicing yoga at a local studio and began scouring the internet for a teacher training program. I found Three Sisters Yoga, a lovely program, based out of NY & PDX. I was more than motivated to teach, I started teaching some free yoga in the summer of 2015 at a local park. I continued after that with an internship at the same studio I had signed back up with at the beginning of the year. I quit my day job. I hit the pavement, scouring for yoga gigs that would hire a newbie. I found a job and began to teach! Now I am navigating the great balance of being a single mom, a yoga teacher, and doing my best to trust my higher power with my future. I love to teach and practice vinyasa, but also know what it's like to be drawn to slower types of yoga due to injury or body type. I feel a special affinity for yoga new comers and like to teach practice at all different levels. Thank you for taking time to read a little more about me and I wish all of you the best in your own individual yoga practice. ~Namaste!

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