OPEN & WILLING

There have lately been occurrences of longer than normal periods of the actual *gasp* SUN here in the pacific nw:

It’s been nice to get out in it.  Is it an early Spring?  I can’t help but think that Spring leads into Summer & then a feeling of foreboding floods me.  Summer is my intention/new year’s resolution this year so I’ve been trying to think of it in a more positive light.  I decided I should make a list of all of the reasons why summer is a good thing:

•  Free outdoor yoga in the green is happening!  I spoke with parks & rec & the dates will be in their booklet that they mail around to everyone in town!  Very stoked about this & our new location.
• Less ‘gear’ to wear outside.  Now we have endless hats, scarfs, gloves, coats, & ect. we have to layer on for the cold.  Soon we will only have to worry about sunscreen.
• Flip flops/sandals.  These are not the most attractive of foot wear, but danggit, they feel so good & summery to wear.
• Our pool is open.
• There are two REALLY nice water features at two parks in town (and a mini one in our neighborhood).  H loves to go to these & splash around.
• We won’t be stuck inside all day due to wet weather.
• Trips!  I’m planning some trips for just me & a couple for H & I.
• Summer dresses.
• Bubbles in the backyard.
• Outdoor dinners.
• Long walks around the neighborhood.
• The smell of Summer:  BBQ mixed with sunscreen.
• Camping at some point (or at many points).

This is all I can come with for now.  I’m hoping it will have the same effect as the email gratitude lists I’ve been involved with over the last couple months, which do indeed make me into a more grateful person.  I will hopefully be able to add to this list and change my feelings & outlook about Summer for 2016.

Meanwhile, we hold onto more gray days within & find entertainment in the little things, when not watching Thomas the Train:

There are many yoga poses I love, many I don’t understand quite yet, & many I do not love.  A teacher back in LB used to encourage to not get too attached to those poses we tend to love & to not hate the ones that are difficult or that we don’t understand.

I guess I’m layering that idea over my Summer intention.  I love Christmas so much!  As well as the holidays before, possible snow, hot chocolate, rain, constant rain, rain again, gray skies, all of it!  I would like to release this season to be able to open my heart to hot, steamy Summer (see how excited I am about Summer heat).  Last night in the meeting the subject of open mindedness, willingness, & honesty came up.  I remember when I first got sober, looking at the steps on the wall, seeing the word, ‘god’ and feeling like I just couldn’t go there again.  I did however crack open the wee-ist slit of willingness deep down in my soul.  That small fissure has since widened into a huge, blossomy canyon.  On the flip side I believe it is very important to not just let anything in & to develop a strong intuition.  Your mistakes will teach you lessons too.

But, ah, be a bit willing.  This is what I’m trying to do & to also let go of some of my go to attachments.  How do we get attached to things we cannot even physically touch?!

I subbed at Escape to Yoga!  It was so awesome.  I happened to get a email just the day before that a vinyasa teacher needed a sub last minute.  I was in a good head space that morning.  I felt confident.  Everything I had been through, yoga teacher wise, was shining all around me.  I could feel the need of the students in the room.  They wanted to move, breathe, and learn more about yoga.  I knew how to get them there.  Just being able to sub a yoga class at a studio may not seem like much to some, but it was a HUGE gift for me.  I had written before about how just the thought of teaching in a studio made me want to hurl.  I have come far and I am very grateful.

Wishing you all a very non-attached day/week/month/rest of Winter/Spring/hehe, almost Summer.

~Namaste