Spring in Oregon is truly a wild thing.  Wildly flowery, it’s not uncommon for it to rain both water and petals this time of year.  End of Winter wind raucously blowing the petals all around and everywhere, they stick to vehicles, roads, sidewalks, and the bottom of your shoes.


The sun making it’s hesitant presence every four days or so.  At the end of Winter, we will it to stay out a little longer.



Those stubborn little soldiers, daffodils, popping out of the ground first.  You’ll see daffodils everywhere here.  Along the sides of country roads, in people’s front yards, springing up in a grassy area at a country gas station.


My parents took H to California to visit my parents.  The silence is deafening.  Things stay where I leave them.  There are no steady stream of tiny messes to clean up.  I feel as though I’m missing a limb, I miss him terribly.  We’ve been Facetiming each morning, but it’s not the same as hearing, Mama, mama, when you wake up and being able to give him a squeeze.

I went to yoga, I went out with some AAers on Saturday night, I bought my dinner at a local farm/co-op.






Blooms & blooms everywhere.

I went to a barre class, have any of you gone to those?  Wow, what a great work out!  Plus, I really thought I would die or fall over a couple of times.  I’m not sure if it will be a regular thing or not.  They offer child care too, which is a game changer for us mamas.  I thought during the class, this is hard but maybe I could teach this too?  They happened to have a teacher informational class set up for the next day so I went.  They talked with us a bit, gently telling us about what it takes to be a barre teacher, the reasons why we wouldn’t get chosen, and that we weren’t in competition with each other.  I was surprised by this, I assumed anyone would be able to train to teach, whether or not you get ultimately hired, that’s a whole other story, I know this well from going through yoga teacher training and then pounding the pavement for a job.

After they spoke to us they had us take a half hour class while one teacher observed.  About half way through I really believed I might pass out, but the willfulness within me wouldn’t let me step away from the bar (not the first bar I should have walked away from sooner than later, hehe).  At that point I realized that teaching/doing barre may take much time and be a lot harder than it looks!  I got a really polite email that very night informing me that it wasn’t yet meant to be.  The whole experience made me think.  They alluded during that class that some women present had come back again, which lets me know that these women had gotten that same email but still managed to work hard and come back.

And it makes me think about that HP’s will.  Like when to kick the door down or not.  I’ve heard it said that if you feel scared or uncomfortable, then it’s an indicator that you are walking in your HP’s will.  I’ve heard it said the opposite way too.  Sometimes it’s hard to know which one to believe.  Lately I’ve been feeling an itch, to go to another training, to possibly pursue prenatal yoga.  The barre adventure was an extension of this urge.  I also have a grounded desire to let things be as they are for now since we’re coming up on Summer and different vacations.  When I first got sober I was so scared to take different steps, convinced I would drink again if I took the wrong one.  I feel way more peaceful about it now, I know from experience that if I am willing to take a chance and make a big mistake I will be the one to suffer the consequences.  Some parts of being sober and living a good life are easy.  We sometimes choose the better path because we don’t want to get kicked in the booty.  Very scientific explanation, I know.

In other news, my old cat died.  He came from another life, when I was married, before I knew more about things like the will of a higher power (looking forward to learning much more about that, of course).  I remember the day I went to the shelter to get him.  I wanted two cats to keep each other company.  I was immediately drawn to a grey female, but her brother, a black and white colored male locked eyes with me and stepped over his brothers and sisters to walk towards me.  That was enough confirmation.  Hendrix, named after that great musician.  His liver failed two nights ago, in his new home back in Long Beach.  I had always wanted to build a lattice type of wall on a porch as they were in door cats.  His last owner lives in a high rise loft.  Windows and porch open in good weather, which is always generally good in SoCal, he could come and go as he pleased.  I did get anxious about him jumping, but he never did.  RIP Hendrix.  You knocked over my water always when I least expected it, you terrorized large dogs and raccoons, but you were the best cuddler I ever met.  You were such a cool cat.

Wishing you all fresh blooms physical & spiritual.




Published by Liz Brower

I've practiced yoga since 2006, I stumbled into a class at my local gym. I didn't really "get" yoga, I wanted to do all of the poses to the max, I didn't focus on breathing, and I was very competitive. A year later I quit smoking and my mom purchased a three month unlimited to a local studio. I fell in love with yoga! Plus the metaphor was strong, my lungs began to repair, I could take really deep inhales without coughing! I later began to go to a free outdoor yoga classes in downtown Long Beach, CA that was also affiliated with a donation based studio. Yoga was fun, affordable, accessible, and outside! I loved it. I started practicing at home by myself. I started meditating. Right after I found the classes at the gym stopped drinking alchohol. My sobriety and yoga have intertwined ever since. They compliment each other amazingly and I am so grateful for them both. I stopped practicing yoga after getting pregnant and being caught up with the taking care of a newborn in 2013/2014. When he was 9 months old I realized that I really wanted to redirect myself back to yoga. I also had the seed planted in my mind while driving home from Christmas break, why don't you go do a yoga teacher training?! I started practicing yoga at a local studio and began scouring the internet for a teacher training program. I found Three Sisters Yoga, a lovely program, based out of NY & PDX. I was more than motivated to teach, I started teaching some free yoga in the summer of 2015 at a local park. I continued after that with an internship at the same studio I had signed back up with at the beginning of the year. I quit my day job. I hit the pavement, scouring for yoga gigs that would hire a newbie. I found a job and began to teach! Now I am navigating the great balance of being a single mom, a yoga teacher, and doing my best to trust my higher power with my future. I love to teach and practice vinyasa, but also know what it's like to be drawn to slower types of yoga due to injury or body type. I feel a special affinity for yoga new comers and like to teach practice at all different levels. Thank you for taking time to read a little more about me and I wish all of you the best in your own individual yoga practice. ~Namaste!

3 thoughts on “IN BLOOM I

  1. He was indeed the best cuddler I’ve ever met! I loved him so, and I was so happy to be his new mom for the time we had together. Thank you! 💙💚💛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Here’s a thing – I just had to look at a map of America to see exactly where Oregon is. And it’s not where I thought it was! You learn something every day. Thanks for sharing the blooms. We’re not quite at that stage here in this part of England although I can sense Spring is not far off – thank goodness. Sorry you have lost your cat x.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: