SHARP & IN FOCUS

I’ve been slacking on the blogging lately, I had these tulip fest pics stored for weeks now.

As far as the tulips go, oooh boy, isn’t it just nice to get out of the house sometimes, any other mamas out there hear me?  Especially when you can find something that interests both kid(s) and mom, it’s a gosh-danged miracle.

Winter has melded into Spring here in Oregon.  We still get chilly mornings and evenings, but it’s necessary to discard sweatshirts when standing in the sun.  Clouds ever racing and changing overhead, dark as earl gray tea one moment and a kaleidoscope of starburst color the next.  Oregon weather still has it’s knack to continuously take my breath away.

H has turned into a sleeping machine, 2-3 hour naps and sleeping through the night.  He’s had many mornings of waking up past 7am, a happenstance I was sure I would never see.

Along with additional sleep I have felt myself challenged with different spiritual things.  I find it hard to fall asleep at night at times (now that I’m not overly exhausted), my head whirring with worries.  I find myself teaching and saying many things as I teach yoga that I should probably be doing myself.

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My meditation game is gone.  After teacher training I was meditating for 10 minutes every day, saying mantra, and I was feeling great.  So I recently recommitted myself to meditating more often.  I found a great portal here.  I made it a point to not try to over do it, but just set the goal of meditating once a week in addition to the weekly group meditation I attend.  I’m taking baby steps and I’m telling myself good job when I follow through.

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HE DOES NOT EAT LIKE THIS EVERY DAY I PROMISE.

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During meditation today I wrote this poem:

FEARS:  Alone.  Cast out.  Knocking on doors, no one answers.  Will you come see me?  Can you tell me everything will be okay?  Touch my cheek & hand?  Look into my eyes?

It’s so strange that the things you think are bothering you never really are when you begin to dig deep down below the surface.  Uh, those icky, ghosty fears, even though you know that:

Fear is just a state of mind, not fact.

I had been feeling real faith in my HP lately.  When I was young I heard people say faith and I wondered at their clarity of belief in it, it seems like a flimsy thing, like you have this false feeling even trying to believe in it.  But then you experience the other side of faith, hoping and believing and then the universe proves it true in your very deep being.  It doesn’t feel fake anymore.  It feels gloriously solid.  And real.  And substantial.  Like you just know that you know that you know.

And then you get scared again.

I guess it’s just a cycle, a lot like life and Winter and Spring.  Deep down I know what is true.  In my head?  Not so much.  So in the meantime I’ll just wait and see.  And pray and hopefully call my sponsor like I shared in the meeting that I went to last night.

Wishing/Vibing that all of you out there connect with what you know is to be true.  That false things fall by the wayside and you faith grows into real golden substance.

~Namaste.

 

Published by Liz Brower

I've practiced yoga since 2006, I stumbled into a class at my local gym. I didn't really "get" yoga, I wanted to do all of the poses to the max, I didn't focus on breathing, and I was very competitive. A year later I quit smoking and my mom purchased a three month unlimited to a local studio. I fell in love with yoga! Plus the metaphor was strong, my lungs began to repair, I could take really deep inhales without coughing! I later began to go to a free outdoor yoga classes in downtown Long Beach, CA that was also affiliated with a donation based studio. Yoga was fun, affordable, accessible, and outside! I loved it. I started practicing at home by myself. I started meditating. Right after I found the classes at the gym stopped drinking alchohol. My sobriety and yoga have intertwined ever since. They compliment each other amazingly and I am so grateful for them both. I stopped practicing yoga after getting pregnant and being caught up with the taking care of a newborn in 2013/2014. When he was 9 months old I realized that I really wanted to redirect myself back to yoga. I also had the seed planted in my mind while driving home from Christmas break, why don't you go do a yoga teacher training?! I started practicing yoga at a local studio and began scouring the internet for a teacher training program. I found Three Sisters Yoga, a lovely program, based out of NY & PDX. I was more than motivated to teach, I started teaching some free yoga in the summer of 2015 at a local park. I continued after that with an internship at the same studio I had signed back up with at the beginning of the year. I quit my day job. I hit the pavement, scouring for yoga gigs that would hire a newbie. I found a job and began to teach! Now I am navigating the great balance of being a single mom, a yoga teacher, and doing my best to trust my higher power with my future. I love to teach and practice vinyasa, but also know what it's like to be drawn to slower types of yoga due to injury or body type. I feel a special affinity for yoga new comers and like to teach practice at all different levels. Thank you for taking time to read a little more about me and I wish all of you the best in your own individual yoga practice. ~Namaste!

3 thoughts on “SHARP & IN FOCUS

  1. Loved all the pics! And the reminder of meditation…I too have slacked off in that arena. Always feel more in “touch” when I’m consistent. (-:

    Liked by 1 person

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