“Life keeps throwing me curve balls and I don’t even own a bat. At least my dodging skills are improving.”

~Jayleigh Cape

I want to start this post out with saying (as it has already been said) that I definitely have problems in areas I never dreamed of before, my life is an absolute gift, & I experience being happy, joyous, & free on a regular basis.  This was NOT my experience 9 years ago.  My life was the exact opposite, I cringed thinking of the moment that I would wake each day, that feeling of absolute rock bottomness I experienced on a daily basis from the time I woke until I got that alcohol down my throat, & then oblivion to only have it start all over again.

I am so very, very grateful.  I know I still have areas to improve in my character, in my career, as a mother, daughter, friend, & sister.  But I also feel very much ENOUGH without having to put anything in my body to have that feeling.

Having that all said, I will say now that the past month has been very challenging, mid-September until now.  We moved, & various situations snowballed into an avalanche of bad feelings & stress.  Everything that was supposed to be in a certain place was lost.  It took a couple weeks to find stuff.  I’m talking about human wits here too, not just possessions.  I went to meetings & spoke about it.  I asked friends to watch H so I could go to meetings.  I even tried a meeting with child care.  I started reading pages 60-63 & 86-88 each morning just like I did when I first got sober.  Things slowly began to get better.  I felt a new normal.

THEN, I decided it was time to potty train H.  Oh, holy hell is all I can say!  Also: it’s really hard!  I beefed up my meetings the week prior because I was going to do this & my parents were going to be out of town.  This was good as less distraction for the potty training, but bad as less human interaction for the mama.

Lots ‘o’ tears friends.  Lots ‘o’ tears.

We are ‘getting it’ slowly.  The thing I hate more than almost anything (have to throw an almost in there just in case!) is seeing my son feel anxious & sad.  ACK, it kills me!  He just wants his freakin diaper back so things can go back to normal.  It’s really hard to see him so confused.  But like I said, each day we are getting better at this.


And he is so resilient.  He & I will be okay.  There will one day be a new normal where we both potty in porcelain thrones without tears or regrets.  I realized too throughout this process that one of my biggest fears is to do something that will directly hurt my son.  So when he cries if I ask him to tell me if he has to go potty, my fear intensifies his seeming discomfort.  I can’t take all the bad out of life for him.  I can’t take discomfort away from him.  Sometimes we need discomfort (pee in underwear, yucky!) to CHANGE.

I’d again appreciate any prayers/good vibes.  This too shall pass, I know.


Published by Liz Brower

I've practiced yoga since 2006, I stumbled into a class at my local gym. I didn't really "get" yoga, I wanted to do all of the poses to the max, I didn't focus on breathing, and I was very competitive. A year later I quit smoking and my mom purchased a three month unlimited to a local studio. I fell in love with yoga! Plus the metaphor was strong, my lungs began to repair, I could take really deep inhales without coughing! I later began to go to a free outdoor yoga classes in downtown Long Beach, CA that was also affiliated with a donation based studio. Yoga was fun, affordable, accessible, and outside! I loved it. I started practicing at home by myself. I started meditating. Right after I found the classes at the gym stopped drinking alchohol. My sobriety and yoga have intertwined ever since. They compliment each other amazingly and I am so grateful for them both. I stopped practicing yoga after getting pregnant and being caught up with the taking care of a newborn in 2013/2014. When he was 9 months old I realized that I really wanted to redirect myself back to yoga. I also had the seed planted in my mind while driving home from Christmas break, why don't you go do a yoga teacher training?! I started practicing yoga at a local studio and began scouring the internet for a teacher training program. I found Three Sisters Yoga, a lovely program, based out of NY & PDX. I was more than motivated to teach, I started teaching some free yoga in the summer of 2015 at a local park. I continued after that with an internship at the same studio I had signed back up with at the beginning of the year. I quit my day job. I hit the pavement, scouring for yoga gigs that would hire a newbie. I found a job and began to teach! Now I am navigating the great balance of being a single mom, a yoga teacher, and doing my best to trust my higher power with my future. I love to teach and practice vinyasa, but also know what it's like to be drawn to slower types of yoga due to injury or body type. I feel a special affinity for yoga new comers and like to teach practice at all different levels. Thank you for taking time to read a little more about me and I wish all of you the best in your own individual yoga practice. ~Namaste!

3 thoughts on “GETTING HIT

  1. It will pass. And if he doesn’t like it, give him back the diaper. They all train eventually.
    I waited until my son was 3. And one day he decided he was done and never wore a diaper again, day or night. Who knew.

    That said, he still had a soother at 4. Buts he’s 13 not and completely diaper and soother free!

    Hug. Kids are awesome and difficult!


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